Dear Dusty,

Shockingly, it was recently reported that to manage a major league baseball team you may need to know a little about baseball. So to give you a little head start, I have written a book not entitled "Baseball for Dummies", but rather "Baseball for Assholes" just for you. Next time you put Kyle Farnsworth in I might throw up all over myself. Maybe you might have noticed that the last, oh, 3 billion times you put him in he blows the lead. And also keep using rookie Jon Leicester. I love to see rookies blow the wins when we have proven veterans on our bench unused. I also hear that Todd Walker is pretty good. We should play him at 2nd base. It's not like he was leading all 2nd basemen in homeruns or anything when you played him.Nevermind, we have your favorite Mark Grudzielanek who batted less then .200 in the playoffs last year and couldn't field a grounder if you gave him a fishing net. And just because you are Sammy's sex slave doesn't mean you have to bat him 4th Dusty. Usually the clean-up hitter should have a little bit higher then a .250 average. Now as far as Paul Bako goes, any catcher that bats .180 in a season, probably shouldn't be starting. Just a hint. Keep up the good work Dusty, all us Cub fans are in your favor.

Sincerely,
Ronnie Woo Woo